Saturday, February 6, 2016

#2 January 2016

Bismillah...

Today I am 29 years, 1 month and 5 days old. I don't know whether I'm actually affected by these numbers  or what but I think some things in my life had tremendously changed... In a good way that is...


My cousin and I talked about Syukur during the weekend; noting how the feeling of not having enough can lead to insanity. Leads to losing important things that we failed to appreciate. Perhaps, being ungrateful and craving for something more is human nature since nafs is implanted inside each and every one of us. Thus,  we concluded that it's important to constantly ask Allah to make us grateful servants besides trying to be positive with whatever we are provided in this world; gains and loss...


And then I found a nice quote in one of the article that I was reading after dinner..


“Patience in resisting desires is easier than patience in dealing with the consequences that result from going along with desires, because it either leads to pain and punishment

or it prevents a more complete pleasure, . . .

or it deprives one of a blessing, having which is more pleasurable and better than fulfilling desires, . . .

or it cuts off an oncoming blessing,

or it has a negative impact on one’s character that will remain, because deeds have a great impact on one’s character and behavior.” Ibn Qayyim [Al-Fawaa’id (p. 139)]

I read it at least 5 times to actually grasp the message.. To think of it,  it's very true that the point when we are deciding to do a wrongdoing is actually easier than facing the consequences of the misdeed. At that point,  our choice was to do or not to do. But in dealing with consequences, only the lucky ones get chances~


In all honesty,  I got bored with the other social media. Too many negativity and I don't know why people spend most of their time getting mad at somebody they don't even know in person and be overwhelmed with trivial issues that doesn't concern them. I remember there was a hadith about this but I can't really recall the exact words. But the message is that we're not suppose to stick our nose into things that doesn't concern us and just leave it to the experts of that particular issue. Perhaps, acknowledging the existence of the issue is fine but to be overwhelmed and be absorbed in futile discussions could lead to waste of time...


And, indeed, one of the greatest act of love is doa for our loved ones. It reaches them whereever they are,  even when they are long gone. I hope mine reaches you, stalker... (^^)

Friday, January 22, 2016

Tasmania: From Hobart to Bicheno

Bismillah...

We start off very early on our third day in Tasmania. We wanted to go on top of Mt. Wellington then drive northward towards Bicheno and planned to stop by some parks and conservation center along the way. We read somewhere in the internet that it was snowing on top of Mt. Wellington and we found that is rather hard to believe. Mt. Wellington is less than an hour away from our hostel and stood 1200 m  plus above sea level so I thought "The snow shouldn't be that bad~" and I imagined the snow must be in small patches here and there and nothing more...

The scenery on the way up was really really deceiving, you know. Everything was green and temperate that we even rolled down our windows to enjoy the breeze. Nah! Amek kau sampai puncak, it was all white! Like really really white. Everything was covered in snow and it felt like we just drove from the tropics to north pole~


This is a picture taken by MR. As you can see, the side of the road are covered with snow. I was driving even slower than 50 km/h (^^")


When we reached the top, we were the only one there. No other car was at the parking lot and everything was covered by  fog and we could not see anything from the lookout. We waited in the car for almost an hour for the sky to clear. 






Hurm.. I've written this many many months ago so I just don't know where to start from where I left off hahaha So I will just publish this anyway...

Wednesday, January 13, 2016

#1 Jan 2016

Bismillah...

Yesterday,  I watched my favourite Disney movie Beauty and The Beast. Haven't watch it for quite sometime. And it still amaze me how I actually remember all the dialogue in the movie by heart.

I always love Belle to an extend that she is my ideal Disney Princess if I were to be one. I mean,  she is not actually a princess,  right? But I love it that she loves to read and I think she is one of the prettiest too. I love it that the Beast gave his library as a gift to Belle.

The lesson of the story, I think, is at the beginning when the narrator said,  "Don't be deceived by appearance,  true beauty is from inside" and it is just recently that I realize actually Belle bring out the kindness in Beast and made Beast the best version of himself that he finally transformed back into a handsome prince. I love that idea of true love hehe


Today I learned that I made a mistake. I made a mistake too a few weeks ago. What I meant by mistake is related to work. To think of it, I can't even recall my last error. Means it must be years ago. I take these two as a reminder that perhaps I'm starting to take things lightly now that I presumed that I am somewhat experienced. And I guess,  I havent been studying much about things that are outside my expertise. So Haziah,  wake up!

And finally,  the best advice that I got today is,

"Sebenarnya bukan dari kita g,  tapi dari lelaki...
Kalau lelaki yang bersungguh memang jadi...
Tapi kalau perempuan je memang tak jalan.. haha"

And yup,  I am the Master in the art moving on hahaha! Siap memperbaiki diri untuk yang baik!

"Perempuan yang baik untuk lelaki yang baik.." Ramai yang lupa kalau ini bukan kalimah fiksi. Ini ayat yang Maha Esa...

Monday, January 4, 2016

Welcoming 2016...

Bismillah...

2016 marks the 8th year of my blog. I haven't been writing as much as I did in the past but I will keep this blog for as long as I could. I don't know who would read this blog these days but the traffic still reach by the hundreds every month. This blog started off as a mean for me to connect with friends and update them about the events in my life before there was fb. But now, some are even surprised that my blog is still active and I still continue writing for the love of writing itself. And most of all, this is my opened legacy..

Again, 2015 was so fast~ Honestly, it wasn't a bad year after all.

I actually went to 10 new countries this year!!!!!!! Let me name them
1. Laos    2. Turkey   3. Greece   4. Albania  5. Montenegro   6. Bosnia   7. Croatia   8. Philippines
9. Japan   10. Maldives

And I noticed that, the way we travel changed a lot for the past two years. Nowadays, we are more laid back, very minimal in planning, choosing destinations based on sudden whims and rather than trying to go to as many places that we could during our trip, we prefer to pick the ones that really match our liking and stay there and really enjoy what the place has to offer.

And, one thing that I learn this year about traveling is that, we actually should travel with people who seek for the same thing. The curious should travel with the curious, and those who travel for the sake of picture taking and for the sake of "been there and done that" should really stick to their clan. I should make it clearer to those who claim they want to join me, that I'm a NERD; who loves to go to museums, read about history and people, who should've studied anthropology and not pharmacy, who finds joy in talking with strangers, who has to know how a geological phenomenon that's in front of her came to be and who wants to come back from a foreign place with a raw experience, an experience that's not just based on assumptions and observations  but also based on real interactions with people who are of different culture and beliefs.

So, lets look forward to more adventures this year now that I've successfully accomplished 30 before 30! Yeay! \(^^)/ Should I raise my target to 100 countries before 50? Hurm.. Why not!?

I think I have a lot of things to be grateful for in 2015. Although, my family was tested with 2 loss last year, I saw that the loss has strengthened our bonds. And I think that such loss has always taught me to cherish each and every moment that I have with the rest of my family that are still with me and also it reminds me to make use of my time on earth wisely since I don't know when is my turn to return to the Almighty.

I haven't been making more money, in fact I have been turning a huge amount of money into priceless experience. There are times when I feel suffocated with my financial situation but I think Allah has granted me what is enough for me and what I've always asked for in my daily prayers since I was very young. Like a happy, supportive and extremely positive family. Recently during Maal Hijrah, the whole family was reciting surah Yassin together while waiting for Maghrib. When we finished, I just sat there in silence while the rest of them went to renew their ablution and continue reading some other verses. I was recalling that there was one point in our life when I was the only one who can read the Al-Quran and I felt that evening was such a great blessing. I remember when I was in form 3, I got jealous with one of my good friend who I found was taught to read the Al-Quran by his own mother. I didn't blame my parents of course for not knowing how to read the Al-Quran and only memorized some verses to recite during solat but that was the starting point when I start to ask Allah to guide us towards Him. I was more sincere during those days, and to be honest I just repeat the same doa because I got used to it after all these years. But then, this is it now.. The answer to my prayers after all these years..

It showed me that, the timing is Allah's; all we have to do is be patient and trust that Allah will answer our prayers because He promised He will if we turn to Him. And being a good Muslim is a continuous process of becoming and it doesn't mean if one is astray, he or she will be lost forever. They might become even closer to Allah in the future.


And thus for this year's resolution, I just want to be a better Muslimah than I was last year.. I want to try to be more kind, more patient, more tolerant, improve my ibadah, improve in my career and less crap~


And actually I got my eyes on someone last year but I haven't been too obsessed about him to an extend that I'm inspired to write fictions hahaha But I guess I did really well in hiding my true feelings and I think it was for the best that I kept it well hidden for as long as I could. Even when he asked, I didn't have the guts to be 100% honest because I was not sure if he was earnest himself. Again, when I like someone so much, I don't want it to become something that's delusive like pointless flirtations that he eventually become just another person that I used to know. That kind of relationship is just too risky to my relationship with the Creator. I'm looking for my Imam, the one Allah has created for me, written for me millions and millions of years ago. I don't know if he is him... But I do know, that my story has already been written by The Best author Who owns this Universe...

Hoping for a great year ahead Happy New Year (^^)

Saturday, December 26, 2015

....Topik Bosan....

Bismillah...

“Apakah cinta sejati itu? Maka jawabannya, dalam kasus kau ini, cinta sejati adalah melepaskan. Semakin sejati perasaan itu, maka semakin tulus kau melepaskannya...Aku tahu kau akan protes, bagaimana mungkin? Kita bilang cinta itu sejati, tapi kita justru melepaskannya? Tapi inilah rumus terbalik yang tidak pernah dipahami oleh pecinta. Mereka tidak pernah mau mencoba memahami penjelasannya.” 


“Lepaskanlah. Maka besok lusa, jika dia cinta sejatimu, dia pasti akan kembali dengan cara mengagumkan. Ada saja takdir hebat yang tercipta untuk kita. Jika dia tidak kembali, maka sederhana jadinya, itu bukan cinta sejatimu. Hei, kisah-kisah cinta di dalam buku itu, di dongeng-dongeng cinta, atau hikayat orang tua, itu semua ada penulisnya.
Tetapi kisah cinta kau, siapa penulisnya? Allah. Penulisnya adalah pemilik cerita paling sempurna di muka bumi. Tidakkah sedikit saja kau mau meyakini bahwa kisah kau pastilah yang terbaik yang dituliskan.” 


"Orang-orang yang merindu, namun tetap menjaga kehormatan perasaannya, takut sekali berbuat dosa, memilih senyap, terus memperbaiki diri hingga waktu memberikan kabar baik, boleh jadi doa-doanya menguntai tangga yang indah hingga ke langit. Kalaupun tidak dengan yang dirindukan, boleh jadi diganti yang lebih baik"

I just discovered this cool author from Sumatera whose writing kind of resonate with me.. Eseh! 

I was reading an old post back from 2012 just now...

"After all these years, I learnt to stand again. I manage to collect love, trust and hope from where I've dropped them and placed them along with honesty, loyalty, patience and respect in a small box. I wrapped it and tied a nice pink ribbon to it.. It's a small gift but very dear to me that I don't want it to be in the wrong hands. I'm waiting for that someone who can accept me for who I am, who has the urge to go extra mile and get what's behind the door. I'll hand him the gift in hope that what's inside can grow and grow while they're in his hands. I'll be patiently waiting.. And while I wait, I won't waste my time feeling sorry for myself and fret. I have the whole world to explore! I want to see the small, medium size and big wonders of the world while I am still able to and given the chance to because I'll never know when it'll be taken away from me again..."

Typically, as years passed, the 'question' didn't really subside. It gotten more intense, even from strangers. It's just that I adapted to it so much that I don't bother anymore. My cousin who just turned 26 said to me, "Kenapala jodoh kita lambat ni ah?" I shrugged and told her I don't really think about it anymore because I know it's not in my control.. 

I still don't like it when people assumed that I'm being too choosy. Well, I have the right to choose wisely and not succumb to anything less than what I deserve just for the sake of having someone in my life. One thing I noticed is that those who saw how I crumbled  years ago seem to understand me better.. One of my ex room mate text me. "Choose wisely.. In marriage it's not always rainbows, GG" But having people giving you a list of names of potential suitors is not as painful as when someone you really like so much said it, though. It has always been in my nature to keep myself in a safe distance between someone that I'm fond of.  I'm not the type who play around. And it has always been in my nature to let go and not force it if it's not mutual. I don't mind losing early in a battle that I might eventually lose.   Because..

"Jika berjodoh, Tuhan sendiri yang akan memberikan jalan baiknya. Termasuk "kebetulan-kebetulan' yang menakjubkan."






Sunday, December 20, 2015



Do not waver...
Even when you're in pain...
It's only painful... When it's true...
And if it's true...
Put Allah first~