My friends and I have talked a lot about how we have changed over the years in the past few days... I happened to be in many places within this week that I met friends from school and university and we coincidentally talked about the same topic altogether; CHANGE...
I listened to what one of my BFF had to go through this year. Entirely different from what I faced last year but slightly similar in its on way. Last year, I was dealing with lost and some career shifts. Battled my way through to gain stability, get control of my life and become positive again. It's something that I prefer to call as my 'transition period' because when it's all finally over, I am (Alhamdulillah) totally fine today.
During the transition period, I realize, not all that are close to you will be there with you. That's when you can finally realize who love you solely for being that witty and carefree woman who is fun to be with and those who love you fully as an individual and stick around when you are at the lowest point in your life. It is absolutely normal to suddenly change into a grumpy person who has mood swings and pour all the burden in her life to the people she trust. That's what women do. They have to let it out~
One thing that I noticed was I did have all the solutions to my problems hovering in my temple but my mind was actually too shrouded by all the negative thoughts and tiredness that I can't direct the physical me to execute anything properly. And the hurdles that I have to deal with especially when it comes to people's attitude, response and expectations were making it even worst for me.. So I did confided my problems to the people I trust... And that's when you can see, who among the people you trust is there to raise you back to where you were or even higher or just want to run away from you because you've become this prick who keeps on complaining about the universe conspiring to pull her down...
From my point of view as the one who was being tested, I just wanted to pour it out. I just wanted a trustworthy person's shoulder to cry on. It is already very much helpful and soothing just to hear the person you trust respond with "You can get through this" or "I pray for you to be granted patience" or "If you need anything just tell me" or "I understand". I didn't expect bombastic ideas that works magic. The least that I needed was a pair of ears that listen. That's all. And it was ludicrous when some responded with "Kahwin la GG," which simply can be translated into "You should have a spouse to share this with instead of sharing this with me", right?
What I'm trying to say, it's the 'transition period' that is the toughest. It's that period when multiple things in your life start to change simultaneously and you have to figure out how to incorporate all these changes into what already exist in your life, your routine. It's the time when you have to constantly do 'trial and error' until you figure out what works. Best of all, this is when we actually GROW exponentially without we realizing it..
I'm truly blessed with family and best friends who understood what I went through although there were some who drifted away from my life with their own reasons. My family was very supportive and we changed for the better after the great lost of one of our beloved. We appreciate each others' presence more than before realizing that any of us could 'leave' at any time without warning.
My best of friends were very mature in handling my breakdowns. There are moments when we entirely give time to listen to each others' problems and then rejoice our hearts by filling each other with pleasant updates and activities.
It was hard but I could feel how it changed me... Hopefully for the better lah!
The next time when a good friend come to you, complaining about the hardships she is going through, she is not trying to drag you into her problem.. It is because you have proved to her as a trustworthy person among all the people she knew. Don't ever break that trust... Ever~
"Ujian itu indah jika ia membawa kita hampir kepada Sang Pencipta.."